She's The Flame Alchemist
by bananaanapanda
Summary: Roy. Such a short, yet manly name. Especially when followed with a last name like Mustang. Roy Mustang, that was her name. It's amazing how her parents knew this name would fit her personality. Roy was a strong independent women. Then she meet Rian Hawkeye. Fem!RoyXMale!Riza. Possibly some Fem!RoyXJean in the future. Rated M to be safe. Some OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N: I don't own FMA. This is my first story so bear with me! Gender bent Roy and Riza. Enjoy!)**

**Summary:**Roy. Such a short, yet manly name. Especially when followed with a last name like Mustang. Roy Mustang that was her name. It's amazing how her parents knew this name would fit her personality. Roy was a strong independent women, who needed no man. That is, until she meet Rian Hawkeye.

* * *

Chapter 1:

Like every Saturday night, the crew and I went to the bar after work. By the end of the night it was just me and Hawkeye.

"Sir, have you ever had feelings you weren't supposed to have?" He said as he bit his lip. I couldn't help but giggle. He looked so cute and I just wanted to kiss him. And so I did. I pulled him to me and kissed with all I had. Something I would've never had the courage to do if I was sober.

When I pulled away, I couldn't help but giggle again. Boy, was he gorgeous. And the shocked expression was adorable. He was blushing, something you'd never see from Hawkeye.

"Sir, I..." I pressed a finger against his lips. "Take me home." I slurred. I tried to stand from the stole but I stumbled. If Hawkeye wouldn't have reach for my hand I would have fallen face first.

With a sigh, he helped me out of the bar and we walked to my house, which wasn't to far from the bar.

As we walked, he held me close so I won't fall. He was so warm. I leaned my head against him and closed my eyes as I inhaled his scent. He cleared his throat, "We're here, sir." I opened my eyes and sighed when he let go of me to open the door.

He helped me in and lead me to the couch. As he laid me down, I wondered what would happen if I bit his ear. And I did that.

He gasped out of surprise. Since my drunk mind found this entertaining, I did it again and licked a little. He moaned and this made me want him, bad. I pulled him on me and kissed him hard. He kissed back, timid at first bit then with want and need.

Last night we had sex and now I laid next to him in my bed. I don't even remember when we moved to my room. This was bad and not to mention that my head was killing me.

Of course I had feelings for him, strong ones. Part of me was happy this happened, but the other part knew this was wrong. I couldn't have a relationship with my subordinate, no matter how much I secretly loved him.

I felt arms tighten their grip slightly around my waist. I turned my head to face him and I was in awe. He was still asleep and he looked so peaceful and I could've sworn he was smiling.

I sighed, my mind was everywhere. I tried to loosen his arms around as discreetly as possible. I needed something for this damn headache. He shifted a little before he woke up. Brown eyes meet black.

"Good morning." He smiled and it melted my heart. He was perfect.

"Morning" I smiled a little and my heart stopped when his fingers intertwined with mine. Was this really happening? I could feel my face turning red.

"I need to pee!" I got up quickly from the bed and ran to the restroom.

* * *

I ended up taking a shower and returned to the room half an hour later. I wasn't surprised that Hawkeye was no longer in bed. That's man was never still.

I went to the kitchen and was greeted by a delicious smell. I leaned against the doorframe and studied the blond haired man as he cooked. Maybe last night was a good thing and I was going to make the best of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Hawkeye and I decided to try this relationship thing, but as a secret for now. We spent all day together on Sunday, until he had to leave at night. It was Monday and I was in the office. This was hard. I kept stealing glances of him every time I would switch to a new paper. I just wanted to kiss him, to hold him. Forever, if that was possible.

"Sir...? Are you listening?" Havoc said as he brought me back to reality.

"Hmm… Murder cases…" I mumbled as I looked down at my papers. I hadn't realized I was staring at Hawkeye the entire time. My face was hot and I knew I was blushing.

"Yea…That's the fifth murder in two months and we still have no suspects." Havoc said through his cigarette as he shuffled papers. "But we did figure out that all victims have some similarities. Females from the military, between the ages of 25 and 30."

"He also kills all the victim the same way. He tortures his victims with a form of sound alchemy." Hawkeye added as he wrote down notes.

"So he goes for military females between 25 and 30?" This gave me an idea. Possibly not the safest idea, but I was certain it would work. "Guys, I just thought of who we could use for bait. Me."

Soon Havoc, Fuery, Falman, Beda, and Hawkeye were looking at me with shock. "Sir, you can't be serious." Fuery was the first to break the silence.

"I am. Have you not met me? We'll have our guy soon." I said with a small smirk.

* * *

"I can't believe it's been two fucken weeks and he hasn't come after me." I said as I slumped on my chair. I had to admit I was relief, there also hadn't been any new victims.

"I'm actually relieved." Hawkeye said as he took my hand. Everyone was out for lunch so it was just us two in my office.

"I suppose, but we need to make sure it's me his after when he decides to strike again." I sighed.

"And we'll catch him before he can do any harm to you." He said as he squeezed my hand softly.

"Damn right, I have the best team there is." I said with a smirk.

He chuckled a little and it made my heart skip a beat. "Yes, you do. Anyways, how are you feeling? Where you sick this morning again?"

I sighed. "Yea, but you have no idea how I'm stressing over this case. I'm sure it's that. We have to find this bastard." He pulled my chin up a little so our eyes would meet. "We'll find him soon." He smiled and it was reassuring. I leaned in a little to kiss him, but he pulled away before our lips meet. "General, we're in the office. We can't risk it."

I pouted. "Fine, then no holding my hand." I said as I pulled my hand away from his. He chuckled and got up to go to his desk. "Well I guess we better get to work then." He said with a small smile that resembled a smirk.

* * *

Like every night, for the last two weeks, I walked home alone. We hoped that this would attract the killer, but we had gotten nothing. This was beginning to frustrate me. I was 28 and a female from the military, was I not fucken good for this killer.

I sighed. I was being to feel sick again. "Might as well go for a walk." I mumbled.

As I began walking, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to find no one there. I began to walk again and heard them again. I smirked. I was sure it was the killer. _I have you now, fucken bastard_.

I reached for my gloves as discreetly as I could. As I was about to slip then on, the silence was disturbed with a high pitch that threatened to rupture my ear drums.

"What the hell…." I mumbled as I fell on my knees. I covered my ears with my hands but the pitch was too intense.

"I have you now, my precious Mustang," was the last thing I heard before everything turned black.

**A/N: Review and let me know if I should put up Chapter 3!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

Chapter 3

When I woke up my head was killing me and there was a ringing in my ear. "Where the hell am I?" I mumbled as my eyes got adjusted to the dim light. I was in a small windowless room. There was a table and cabinets and it somewhat resembled an operating room.

I tried to move but my hands were chained to the wall. Just then the door opened, revealing a slim, bald man. "Ah. Nice to see you're finally awake, princess." He smiled and walked closer to me. "Who are you?" I asked as firmly as I could. I was honestly scared. I didn't have my gloves on me and I was useless.

"Well I'm your killer, my dear General. Haven't you been looking for me? Didn't you want me to catch you?" He was now standing in front of me and tapped the tip of my nose lightly with his finger. "Luckily for you, you were my main target all along. You see, the other women were merely practice. I knew their bodies and minds could withstand my sound alchemy. The average human can't." He leaned his face close to mine. "But you're not average, are you?" He grinned and laughed like a mad man.

I closed my eyes. _Hawkeye and the team better get their asses here quick. _

* * *

I was in pain and my body was shaking. At the most I had passed out three times. The sounds being produced were inhumane. Every time he triggered his alchemy a new range of pitches were produced. I couldn't cover my ears. I couldn't do anything to stop these noises.

"Amazing. You've lasted longer than the others, by far. Not a surprise." The killer said with a smile. The pitches had stopped and I was panting. "I am curious, General. Just was is it in that brain of yours that has resisted my alchemy. Maybe we should have a look?" His smile grew into an evil grin. "But first," he leaned his face close to mine, "you are known as the most attractive female in Central. We can't let that go to waste." He crashed his lips hard against mine. I bit his lip as hard as I could and I wasn't surprised when he slapped me.

"You will regret that, General. I assure you." He smirked, his lip slightly bleeding from where I bit him. With that the pitches continued. These were worst then the last ones and I couldn't help but scream. It didn't take long before darkness took over.

* * *

When I woke up I was on the floor and my body was aching all over. I tried to stand but my knees gave out. I whimpered. I had to get out but I couldn't even move. I closed my eyes. _Hurry, Rian. I need you._

I flinched when I heard the door open, but I didn't bother opening my eyes. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I opened my eyes when I felt his hands run down my side. "So, you are awake." I didn't have to see his face to know that he was smirking. I tried to crawl away from his touch. I held back a cry when I felt him holding me back by my hair.

He laughed and whispered in my ear, "It won't be long until your mind and body give out, so I decided I'd have fun with you." I closed my eyes. _Think, Roy, think_. Without thinking twice, I used all the strength I had to crash the back of my head with his face as hard as I could. He cried in pain and let go of me. When I was free, I didn't hesitate to stand. Maybe it was the adrenaline, or the fear, but I ran. I pushed through the weak feeling in my legs and ran. The door seemed so far away. When I reached the door knob I fell to my knees in pain and covered my ears. My eardrums were about to explode. The frequency of these new pitches were insane.

"Bitch, now you've pissed me off" The pitches stopped and I felt myself being lifted. In a matter of seconds I felt my body collide with the ground, hard. I let out a loud cry as pain spread through my body. I felt pain all over, but I felt the most pain in my stomach.

I felt weight on me and seconds later, hungry lips meet mine. I tried to fight him off but it was useless. I was weak and in terrible pain. "I'm going to show you who's the one in change."

* * *

"Where's your team now, General?" He said mockingly as he laughed and threw my clothes at me. I didn't bother answering and he left. I couldn't help but cry silently. I felt dirty. It hurt and I was ready to die. _No, don't think that way. You're the flame alchemist, damn it! _Flame...

I needed something sharp. I had to carve my transmutation circle. Knowing that the pain in my stomach was to unbearable to stand, I crawled to the cabinets and I searched like a mad man. I nearly cried when I found a razor blade. I carved the circle on my hand and the next time I saw that fucker, I'd burn him to a crisp.

**A/N: The chapters are slowly getting longer. Yay! Next chapter might be in Hawkeye's POV. Don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

**Rian's POV**

It's been three days in hell without her. What killed me more was knowing she was in danger and I wasn't there to protect her. I had failed her.

**3 days before: **

I looked at the clock, 8:30 am. _She's late again. _I sighed and picked up the office phone to dial her number. Everyone was in the office, except for her. As I waited for her to answer, I heard running coming from outside the office. The door opened suddenly and in came Edward Elric. "Where's the General?!" I hung up the phone when I heard worry in his voice. I turned around to face him and noticed Roy's gloves in his hands.

"Where did you find those, Edward?" My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. "I found them in the street… They're always on the General and I found it weird seeing them on the ground like that…." My eyes widened in fear. _The killer…_ I turned to face Jean and the others, "Men, go with Edward. I want a thorough search of the area where the gloves were found. I'll go to the General's house to see if there are any clues of were the killer is."

"K-killer…? Killer? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE'S A KILLER LOOSE IN CENTRAL AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME?!" Ed crossed his arms, obviously very pissed.

I sighed impatiently, we didn't have time to loose. "It was confidential and you are no longer in the military. Besides, the General didn't want you causing trouble or getting hurt."

"So what do we know about this killer?" I rubbed my temple, "He's a sound alchemist and he targets military females around the General's age."

"Sound alchemy? Isn't that used for DNA repair and healing?" I began to pace around.

"Yes, but that's sacred sound alchemy. We believe that the type of sound alchemy this killer uses is a reversed form. He uses alchemy to create vibrations in the air. The frequency of these wavelengths are determined by his motions. Sacred sound alchemy deals with pitches that are relaxing to the human brain. The victims have had ruptured ear drums and unusual chemical reactions in the brain. Now, go. We don't have time to lose."

* * *

I was in Roy's house and I hoped the search was going well for the others. Everything in the house seemed to be in place.

As I was searching, I walked into her room and stumbled across a very familiar sweater. It was laid neatly on the bed. I picked it up and examined it. A warm smile appeared on my face when I realized it was my sweater. "She's kept it. After all this time?" I said to no one.

I sat on the bed and held on to the sweater tightly. It had her scent, a nice aroma of roses. I closed my eyes and went back in time.

_It was a gloomy and cold day. The wind was insane and it was sure to knock you over if you weren't being careful. I was on my way to the market to buy some things for supper tonight. We were having a guest over and father wanted an extra nice dinner to welcome her. _

_I didn't know much about our guest. All I knew is that she was going to be my father's apprentice. She was to learn the ways of fire alchemy, something my father had been trying to perfect for as long as I could remember. _

_As I was crossing a bridge, I braced myself for the harsh winds. I stopped in my tracks and couldn't help but chuckle at the sight before me. A young lady was fighting against the wind and she appeared to be losing. I was surprised that she hadn't flown away yet. After watching her for a couple seconds, her next actions caught me completely off guard. _

_As the winds began to pick up, she looked around for something to hold on to. Noticing that I was only a few inches from her left she reached for me and held on to me tightly. "Don't let go!" She said, her voice was shaky. I held back a chuckle and wrapped my arms around her, "I won't. I promise." I whispered. _

_After the wind died down she pulled away from me and cleared her throat, "Thank you. I'll be on my way now." She said as she quickly walked away. I sighed and continued walking. _

_I couldn't seem to get her out of my head. That raven-black hair and onyx eyes on a pale frame. She was beautiful._

_I got home and began to cook supper, our guest would arrive soon. _

_Surely enough, our guest arrived when the food was ready. _

_When I opened the door for our guest, onyx eyes meet mine. _

_It was the young lady from the bridge, she was father's apprentice. "Roy Mustang? Father has been expecting you. Please, come in." I said with a small smile as I let her in. She nodded as she avoided eye contact with me. It was clear she was embarrassed from the event earlier today. _

_After dinner, I showed Roy to her room. "If you need anything let me know. And here." I said as a handed her one of my sweaters. She gave me a confused look. "I noticed you were shivering during dinner and the nights get much colder. We wouldn't want you getting sick." _

"_Thanks." She said as she took the sweater. "And sorry for earlier today." She blushed and I couldn't help but chuckle. "It's okay. Happens all the time." I said with a hint of sarcasm. We both laughed.  
_

_That night were stayed up talking all night and it wasn't long before we became very close. _

I sighed as I came back to reality. I stood up and laid the sweater back on the bed. It was time to go back to the office. Hopefully the others had news.

* * *

**Present:**

We were still at square one. No news on the General and it was nerve wrecking.

The office was quitter without her. Everyone was actually doing work, but the atmosphere of the office was depressing. I rested my head on my hands and closed by eyes. I jumped when I heard the door swung open. "LIEUTENANT!" All heads turned to the door as a frantic Alphonse Elric came in. "What is it, Al?" I said as I stood. "We found her location! Brother and I were walking when we heard a scream from a building. We're sure it was the General. Brother stayed behind. We have to go!"

Before I could answer, Al had started running out of the office. The men and I followed, _we're coming for you, Roy. You'll be out of that hell soon._

* * *

"Brother?!" Al called as we entered the building. "Al! In here!" we ran to were his voice was coming from.

"It's okay. It's over." Ed was trying to comfort Roy, who was crying hysterically. When we came close to the room, the stench of burnt flesh filled the air. We entered the roomed and saw a burnt corpse laying on the floor near Ed and Roy.

Ed looked up when he heard us come in. "Roy, they're here. Rian's here. You're okay." I ran over to them and knelt down beside Roy. She reached for me and held on to me. "Don't let go." She cried. I held her as tightly as I could without hurting her, "I won't. I promise."

* * *

Havoc had a car waiting for us outside the building. I carried Roy bridal-style and helped her in the back seat. I slide in next to her and laid her head on my lap. She was still crying, but silently. I held her hand. "I'll never let go." I whispered to her as I leaned down and kissed her forehead. She gave me a small smile before she passed out.

When were got to the hospital, she was taken to the examination room. All that was left to do now was to wait.

An hour passed and I couldn't sit still, knowing that state she was in, physically and mentally. I wanted to be in there with her. Holding her hand, telling her everything would be okay.

"She's going to be fine, Rian. Roy's strong. She's going to pull through." Havoc said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. He gave me a reassuring smile.

The doctor finally came out. "She had a few fractured ribs, but she should be fine. We will run some blood test to make sure everything else is well. However, we did have to terminate the General's pregnancy. The baby was already dead, due to the impacts the mother received."

The room was silent. The General was pregnant? "Pregnant?" I said, mostly asking myself. "Yes, she was around two weeks along." I could feel my hands shaking. I didn't know what to say. "She can have visitors but only a couple at a time." He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly before he left.

I looked at all the familiar faces and they all gave me supporting smiles. "Go see her." Ed said as he nudged me a little. I nodded. My mind was everywhere. I stopped before I entered her room_. Did she know we lost our baby?_

**A/N: I hope that gave an explanation about what sound alchemy was. I kind of made it up, so I hope it made sense! Hope you guys liked it! Review! It helps! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Roy's POV**

They always identify children as being blessings, but I never wanted kids. I didn't see myself as the motherly type. I was working my way to the top, to protect my people. I had no time for kids. So why were the doctor's words breaking my heart into a thousand pieces?

"You have a few fractured ribs, but you'll be fine. We will run some blood test to make sure we don't miss anything." The doctor looked up from his clipboard with a serious expression, "General, did you know you were expecting?" My mind went numb. Expecting? As in pregnant? "I'm pregnant?" I asked in a small voice, it sounded nothing like me.

The doctor's expression saddened. "Unfortunately, we had to end the pregnancy. The baby didn't survive. I'm sorry."

I bit my lip, trying to hold back tears. I looked at my hands in my lap. I was going to be a mother but I couldn't even protect my child.

I heard the doctor leaving but he hesitated before existing. "I'm truly sorry, General." He said before he left.

When I was left alone, I began to cry. It was a pathetic site. I wanted to stop, but the tears kept coming. I cried because I was tortured, made unclean, and forced to kill again. But I cried the most for my unborn child. An unborn child, product of the love Hawkeye and I had for each other. Because of my carelessness, he was gone.

* * *

I sighed as I laid in bed, I had finally stopped crying. I placed my hand on my stomach. _Maybe one day we'll meet again. _"Maes, I hope you're taking care of him." I said out loud.

"I'm sure he is." I jumped a little. It was Rian, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He said as he walked towards me. He leaned down and kissed my forehead and I smiled a little. "I didn't hear you walk in. How long have you been here?" I moved a little, making room on the bed for him.

"Not long." He sat and pulled me close to him. I sighed and leaned my head against his shoulder. I closed my eyes as I inhaled his scent and embraced his warmth. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me, "It's not your fault. I joined the military to protect you and I couldn't even do that. I failed you. I failed our baby too." He's last words were almost a whisper. I looked up to see his face. I was heartbroken when I noticed he was crying.

I cuddled closer to him. "We didn't know this would happen…" I didn't know what else to say. I was tired and my mind was everywhere.

I heard whispering coming from the other side of the door and looked up at Rian. "Who else is here?" Before he could answer, the door opened and in came Havoc, Fuery, Falman, Beda, Armstrong, and the Elric brothers.

I panicked. We were still hiding our relationship. They couldn't see us like this. I tried to move but Hawkeye held me firmly. "It's okay, Roy. They know." Hawkeye said calmly. "They were there when the doctor gave me the news" he said quietly. The others nodded.

"We're sorry we didn't get there sooner, General." Ed said quietly and looked down at his feet. The atmosphere in the room was being to get depressing. I cleared my throat. "There's nothing we can do now but move forward." Rian rubbed my back and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Boy, you two do make a cute couple. It was about time." Havoc said through his cigarette. The whole crew nodded eagerly. "Oh, love! Such a beautiful thing!" Armstrong cried as pink sparkles danced around him. I blushed and Hawkeye chuckled softly. I could tell things were about to change and I hoped it was for the better.

* * *

Hawkeye and the others had to go back to work. Luckily, Gracia and Elysia were on their way to visit. Knowing this made me less nervous. I didn't want to be alone. Being alone just made me depressed.

The door opened and the sound of small footsteps filled the room. "Auntie Roy!" Little Elysia cried as she ran to my bed. Once she managed to get on my bed she held on to me and began sobbing lightly. I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back. I looked up at Gracia who was standing by the door. "She was worried about you. We all were." She said with a small smile. She walked closer and sat on a chair that was placed next to the bed. After Maes died, I made it my job to look after his family. He was my best friend and Gracia had become like a sister to me.

Elysia's crying was being to die down and she had fallen asleep holding on to me. Gracia placed a hand on my shoulder and I turned to face her, "I'm sorry, Roy. How are you doing?" Her expression was full of concern. I gave her a sad smile. "I'm okay. I think. I never thought about being a mom but I feel empty. As soon as I found out about him, he was taken away…" I looked down at Elysia and smiled through the new tears that were forming. Gracia squeezing my shoulder softly. I wiped my tears and looked at Gracia. I smiled. "I'll be okay though. I have a little angel here." I patted Elysia's back lightly. "And I have my friends." I smiled warmly at Gracia. "And you have Hawkeye, too." Gracia smiled widely. It reminded me of Maes.

I chuckled, "Yes. I suppose you're right."

"Maes always knew you two would end up together. He would have been happy." She said with a sad smile.

* * *

After Gracia and Elysia, I was surprised by an unexpected visitor. It was Hawkeye's grandfather, Fuhrer Grumman. I sat up and salute, "Sir, what a pleasant surprise." A knot formed in my throat when I realized why he was here, because of mine and Hawkeye's relationship. _There goes my job. _

"At ease, General." He smiled warmly and walked towards me. I relaxed a little and placed my hands on my lap. He sat on the chair next to the bed and cleared his throat. "My deepest condolences." He said and I nodded silently, waiting for him to continue. "Although the circumstances are not how I imagined, I have come to give my blessings on your relationship with my grandson. I did plan on him being here, but he insisted on covering your paperwork to lessen your workload once you return." He chuckled and I smiled. _Rian, what would I do with him_? "You are his ideal women and I wish you two the happiness you both deserve."

My smile couldn't help but get bigger. Finally some good news. "Sir, this is an honor. Thank you so much." He nodded with a content expression.

"Now, I expect a speedy recovery." He said as he got up to leave. "We have a game of chess waiting for you once you return." He grinned.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was a bit past 7 in the evening and I was by myself. I was feeling uneasy with each minute that passed. I sighed as the feeling of loneliness over took me. My mind began wondering and I couldn't help but think of those few days that I was held captive.

Pain and an unclean feeling tingled against my skin. I can still feel those harsh lips against mine. I can still feel that bastard against me. I pulled my knees against my chest and closed my eyes. _How can I tell Rian? _There was no way he could possibly love me after I told him. Even if he said he did, he shouldn't have to deal with damaged goods. I was broken and Rian deserved better.

I began to sob quietly. "What do I do, Maes?" I whispered quietly. "I love him, but will he really be happy with me…?" I looked up and stared out the window. It looked peaceful outside and I wanted to feel that peace.

A light knock interrupted my thoughts. I turned to find Rian standing by the door and, for a moment, the world stopped spinning. _I love him so much._

He walked towards me and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I whispered as I began to sob. He shook his head and rubbed my back, "Roy, I love you. Nothings your fault. We can always try to have a child again. If you really want." He whispered quietly in my ear. _He thinks I'm apologizing about our baby again. I have to tell him. _

I pulled away from him and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and shook my head slowly as I tried to find words. "Rian…" I said quietly, "The killer…. He… He…" I was sobbing as flashbacks played in my head. I remember myself begging for him to stop.

Arms pulled me into a tight embrace "I couldn't stop him…" I whispered as desperate tears kept flowing. I felt Rian's body tense against mine. "That bastard deserves to rot in hell for what he did." I couldn't help but cringe as Rian spoke. His word were bitter and full of hate.

After seconds of silence, I felt him kiss the top of my head. "Nothing will ever happen to you again, Roy. I promise. I will protect you." I cuddled against him. "Roy, we'll get through this. I promise." He said quietly as he held my hand.

I began to feel intense pain in my ears and I squeezed his hand as a whimper escaped my lips. "What's wrong?" Rian asked, he's words full of concern. I tried to ignore the pain, "My ears… Stupid sound alchemy." I said through breaths.

"I should get the doctor." Rian began to get up but I held him tight. "No. It's going away. Doctor said this would be normal." I winced a little as the pain began to fade. I looked up at Rian and gave him a weak smile. "I'm fine."

"Did this happen before?"

I nodded. "A little after Fuhrer Grumman left. The doctor examined my ears and the sound alchemy did damage to my ear drums." I bit my lip. _I might as well write broke on my forehead. _Rian leaned down and pressed his lips against my forehead. "More battle scars to show just how brave you are… And for that I love you more." He mumbled, his lips still pressed against my forehead.

I couldn't help but smile. _Hawkeye, I love you._

* * *

It was close 10 at night and I was cuddling against Rian. I sighed and played with Hawkeye's fingers. I wanted to talk to Rian about our baby.

"Rian, did you want the baby?" I said quietly. He cleared his throat, "I don't know…"

"…Are you glad it's gone…?" I whispered. Seconds passed and the silence was breaking my heart. "You are glad…" I pulled away from him. I could feel tears beginning to form.

"We weren't ready… We aren't ready…" He tried to pull me towards him but I moved away from him. "He was our baby… I don't care if we weren't ready… He was our baby…" I mumbled.

"Roy, what about your plans? What about your goal? Could you have-"

"Stop… Why are you saying those things?" I cut him off. He sighed, "It's not that I am happy we lost it… I'm far from happy. I almost lost you both. It's just… I think I should go…" He got up and left without saying good bye. _What just happened?_

* * *

_**Rian's POV**_

Of course I wasn't glad that the baby was gone. I love Roy more than anything and I already loved our baby. I didn't mean to act so cold just now.

Truth is that I'm scared. What if we tried to have another child and we couldn't? What if we can't be happy together?

And now, instead of telling Roy how I actually felt, I'm walking away. _I'm such a coward_.

The streets were empty as I walked. What did I expect, it was already 11 at night.

I sighed as I continued to walk the empty streets of Central. _I told her I would protect her and I just keep hurting her. _ That's when it occurred to me, I need sometime away to think clearly. _I'll come back for you, Roy. Just please don't forget about me._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Since I didn't update for a while, I decided to update twice this week. Woot.**

**Chapter 7**

**Roy's POV **

After Rian left, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be alone, especially now. The only person that was able to comfort me had just left me. With a sigh I reached for the phone on the nightstand. _It's late, but I need someone_. My fingers trembled as I dialed the phone number. The phone rang a few times before a familiar voice answered. "Hello?"

"Jean, its Roy. Can you please come over? I need you…" I whispered. I was trying hard not to cry. I've never felt as weak and vulnerable as I did now. "I'll be right there, okay?" He said without hesitation. "Okay" I mumbled as I placed the phone back on the receiver.

Within minutes, Jean was stumbling into my room. "What's wrong? Where's Hawkeye?" He asked out of breath. I looked down to my lap, "He left me…" I mumbled. I felt Jean's arms around me and he held me close. I couldn't help but cry. _Why can't this be Rian? _"What happened, Roy?" Jeans voice was low and gentle.

"I wanted to talk about our baby… He was so colds towards me…. It's like he's happy that this happened…" I mumbled. Jean rubbed my back, "Roy, I'm positive he isn't happy about this. He loves you. He just needs time… Everything was to sudden…" I closed my eyes and nodded softly, suddenly feeling exhausted.

As I was dozing off, I could have sworn I heard Jean singing softly_. "…Shall I stay… would it be a sin… If I can't help falling in love with you…"_

* * *

When I woke up, Jean was asleep on the chair near the bed and I couldn't help but giggle. His black robe was covering his, very adorable, duck pajama bottoms. And not to mention, his shoes were mismatched. _I guess he really did hurry down here_.

"What's so funny?" he mumbled quietly as he shifted around a little before opening his eyes. "You have a very exceptional sense of style, Jean." I said with a smirk. He chuckled, "They were a gift from my five-year old niece. And the shoes… Well I couldn't see much in the dark." He ran a hand through his already ruffled hair.

"Were you already going to bed when I called?" I couldn't help but feel guilty.

He shook his head, "Don't worry about. When you called I knew something was wrong. I wanted to get here as soon as possible." He stood and stretched, "And besides, how could I pass a chance on sleeping on these comfy hospital chairs." He chuckled a little and I couldn't help but smile, "Thanks, Jean. For being here…"

He placed a hand on my shoulder, "You shouldn't be alone, especially now. I'll be here as long as you allow me to." He's smile was genuine and I couldn't help but feel happy that he was here. "Although, I may have to leave for a few moments. I need to change and stop by the office." I pouted a little. He chuckled and held my chin little, "No need to pout, pretty lady. I'll be back soon." I closed my eyes and chuckled. _Same old flirtatious Jean, no doubt in that._

* * *

About an hour later, I heard the door open. I couldn't help but feel upset to not see Rian. "Was he in the office?" I asked Jean. He hesitated a little before walking in and closing the door. He walked toward me and I noticed that he was avoiding eye contact. "What is it, Jean?"

"Well… I ran into Fuhrer Grumman in the office this morning. Rian asked him for a temporary leave. He said Rian didn't look well and that time away would do him good… Thing is, we aren't sure of where he was heading off to or when he plans to return…" he finished with a sigh.

I clenched my fist. _How can he leave me without a word? _"That idiot…" I mumbled. "I loved him and this is how he repays me? Fine, then I hope he never comes back… "I whisper. I didn't even feel like crying anymore. I just felt betrayed.

"I hope he realizes the mistake his making…" I heard Jean mumble. I looked at him for a bit and studied him. _I hope he doesn't leave me too._

I've known Jean for as long as I can remember. He and I were the biggest flirts during our school years and we just clicked. He was the type of guy that wasn't the brightest, but gave the best advice and he would never leave you behind. I absolutely cherished his friendship.

* * *

Two weeks passed and still no news from Rian. I was released from the hospital after being admitted for three days and I was back at home. During this whole time, Jean stayed by my side. He kept me company during the nights because I wasn't ready to be alone. He practically lived in my guest room and I couldn't thank him enough for not leaving me alone. I was also back in the office, but it wasn't the same without Rian. A part of me wanted to cry whenever I saw his empty desk, another part of me couldn't care less. _I can't deny that I miss you, Rian._

* * *

More days passed, then months, and even a year passed. I had come to terms with the idea of Rian not coming back. At first the thought broke my heart, but slowly, the pain began to ease. Jean was a big help in dealing with this too. Not once did he let me go through this alone. I had to admit, I even developed feelings for him.

It was Sunday and both Jean and I didn't have work today. Jean was off running some errands and I was left at home. I was being consumed by thoughts of both Jean and Rian. My thoughts mostly revolved around Jean and how amazing he was.

"Maes, I don't know what to do…" I groaned as I covered my face with the book I was reading. _I don't what to fall in love again. _With a sigh, I sat up on the couch and placed the book down near me. _I don't even know if Jean has feelings for me. _"This sucks." I thought out loud. "What does?"

I couldn't help but get startled. "What the hell, Jean?!" I grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him. "When did you get here?" He chuckled as the pillow hit him softly and landed on the floor. "I just walked in actually. Must be thinking pretty hard for you not to notice." He picked up the pillow and tossed it back on the couch. "I have to show you something." He reached out for my hand. I took his hand and he pulled me outside.

"What is it?" I asked as he led the way. "Well… it's your birthday soon." He replied excitingly. We stopped at the porch near a big box with a blue bow. "So here's you present." He let go of my hand and motioned towards the box. I hesitated, "I swear, Jean. If it's one of your tricks again I won't hesitate on burning you." He just shook his head and chuckled softly.

I lifted the lid from the box to find a very adorable sleeping puppy. I looked up a Jean, "Seriously?!" I said not hiding how excited I was. "Yep, he's all yours." He replied with a wide smile. I carefully picked up the puppy and held him close. He cuddled against me and it was the cutest thing ever. I loved dogs. Dogs embody loyalty, they follow their masters commands above all else. Be a jerk to them and they don't complain, and they never once beg for a paycheck (1).

"This is the best gift ever! Thank you so much!" I told Jean. He nodded, a smile still on his face. As I was petting the puppy, I noticed a piece of paper attached to his collar. "What's this?" I mumbled. I got the paper and unfolded it.

_Will you go out with me?_

_-Jean_

I looked up at Jean who was fidgeting nervously and was as red as a tomato. I couldn't help but laugh, "I had no idea we were back in Jr. High again." Jean looked down at his hands, "I didn't know how to ask. Every time I tried to I panicked." I walked closer to him and kissed his cheek, "Of course, I'll go out with you."

**(1) I just had to put that in here. Lel**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Jean's POV**

I blinked for a few moments. "What…?" I mumbled. My heart was about to leap out of my chest. Roy giggled, "I said yes, Jean." _She did say yes! _I placed both of my hands on her cheeks and kissed her. She smiled against my lips and kissed me back, a little deeper. I was about to kiss her again when I felt the pup beginning to lick my chin. "I guess he wants kisses too." I chuckled as I petted him. Roy cuddled him close, "Black hayate…" She mumbled, "That'll be his name." She smiled.

I couldn't help but smile too. Roy was perfect, beautiful, and simply irreplaceable. Rian made a mistake in leaving her and I wasn't planning on giving her back so easily. _If he ever plans on returning. _

"…Jean… Are you even listening?" She pouted.

"Oh yea. That sounds like a perfect name." I kissed her forehead. "Let's go inside and set a place for this little guy." She nodded eagerly._ I won't leave like Rian, I promise. You don't deserve that._

* * *

Roy cuddled against me as we sat on the couch. Hayate was peacefully sleeping on his dog bed by the fireplace. I placed my arm around Roy's shoulder and she leaned her head against me. "I really loved my gift, Jean. You have no idea… He'll be like our baby…" She said quietly. I looked down to see her face and she had a sad smile.

I rubbed her shoulder a little. I knew how much she want a baby, even though she never really said it. Whenever she was around Elysia, or another kid, she was radiant and become sad when she had to leave them. This didn't surprise me though, with what happen with Rian and their child

I cleared my throat, "I mean… An actual baby of our own wouldn't be a bad idea either…" I mumbled. _What am I saying? We just started going out!_ She looked up at me with those mysterious onyx eyes. "Jean, we just became a couple. I-"

"But I've loved you… For the longest time. I know I want to be with you forever. I know that… If having a kid will make you happy…. Then I'm all for it…" I mentally slapped myself. _If this does creep her out, I don't know what will_.

She opened her mouth as if she were about to speak, but hesitated. Silence filled the room, and I began to panic. _You really fucked this up, Jean_.

"Would you really want to have children with me..?" she asked quietly as she looked down to her hands. She was just so adorable. I nodded. "Roy, I love you. I want to start a family with you. And besides, with our looks, our kids would be pretty damn attractive." She chuckled lightly and looked up at me, "Only if they take after me." She smirked

I leaned and kissed her softly. "You got me there." She smiled then kissed back.

I pulled her on my lap and kissed her again, this time a little deep. She wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss. The kiss last for a while until we were forced to pull away for air. She pressed her forehead against mine and smiled that perfect smile, "I love you…" she whispered.

My heart skipped a beat, "I love you too." I kissed her forehead lightly and let my lips rest there for a while.

She kissed my lips then trailed kisses to my neck, "Would it be crazy if we tried to start a family now…?" she whispered against my neck. I rubbed her back, "I don't see why it would be."

I lifted her chin up and kissed her lips. She smiled. "Thanks, Jean. For everything." _I'd do anything for you. Just to see you smile_.

* * *

We laid in her bed under the covers, catching our breaths. Roy's head was laying against my chest while I rubbed her back. There was a blissful, peaceful silence in the room. "Jean?" She whispered quietly. "Hm?"

"Can you sing to me…? Like that night in the hospital." It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about. "You heard that?' I chuckled. I felt her nod slowly against my chest.

"_Like a river flows surely to the sea… Darling so it goes…some things are meant to be…"  
_I sang quietly while rubbing her back slowly. Within minutes I could hear her breath even out. I smiled happily and let sleep take over me.

* * *

Weeks passed and our attempts in conceiving a child were in vain. I held Roy's hand as we waited for the doctor. Roy wanted to make sure that becoming a mother was still a possibility for her. "I'm sure everything's fine. It'll just take us a little while." I said as I tried to calm her down. She smiled a little, "Yea."

Seconds later, the doctor walked in and sat on his chair. He read the file in his hand and placed it on the desk. He cleared his throat, "General, I will be honest with you…" Roy tightened her grip on my hand a little, "Since your first pregnancy was disturbed so soon, it is possible that it may have caused internal damaged. Especially with what your body went through during that time… The chances of you conceiving are slim to none."

My throat felt dry and I felt Roy's hand shaking in mine. "If you still consider becoming parents, there are other options." The doctor continued as he handed us some pamphlets. "I'll give you guys a few moments. If there are any questions, don't hesitate on calling."

When the doctor left I placed Roy's hand against my lips. "We can keep trying. I know we can have our own baby…" She shook her head slowly, "Let's just go home…" She whispered quietly, I barely heard her.

* * *

The ride home was silent. I didn't know what to say. Both of us had hopes of starting a family soon.

When we got home, Roy sat on the couch. Hayate quickly jump onto the couch and climbed on her lap. Roy petted him softly. I sat down next to her and pulled her close. I heard her sniffle and began to rub her back. "It's not fair, Jean…" She cried quietly. "I wanted a child of our own…" My heart was breaking and I was trying not to cry with her. "We will… We can't lose hope…"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Jean's POV Cont'd**

I sat silently as Roy slept. She had been crying for the last couple of hours and had cried herself to sleep on the couch. I sighed as I realized that I hadn't really known how much having a child meant to her.

I rubbed her arm gently to not wake her, "We won't give up on this… We can't…" I whispered mostly to myself. Truth was that I was truly hoping we could start a family soon. I loved Roy with all my heart. My future was with her and this was just something we'd overcome together.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. I got up carefully and walked to the door. As I opened the door, it took me a while to process who was standing on the porch.

It was Rian.

It took all I had to not punch that shocked look off his face. I stepped out the door and carefully closed the it behind me. "What-"

"You have no right to ask questions here." I cut him off. "And I must say you have shitty timing." I said bitterly. "Do you have any idea what she went through? How she felt? How miserable she was? For someone who supposedly loved her, you had a lousy way of showing it." I said, not hiding my anger.

Rian glared at me, "This is none of your concern. Now if you excuse me, I have to talk to her." He said trying to go passed me. I held his shoulder. I was trying real hard not to get pissed off.

"None of my concern? Damn right it is. Roy and I are together. It damn well is my concern. You hurt her once and I sure as hell won't let that happen again… Don't you dare go near her…" I growled.

"You… y-you and Roy…?" He mumbled. I would lie if I said I didn't feel bad for the look of hurt and denial he had.

I nodded. I felt my anger subside when I realized that one of my best friends was standing in front of me. Although I was pissed for what he did to my Roy, I was relieved that he was okay.

"Rian…" I sighed, "When you left, Roy was alone and I had to protect her. You've know my feelings for her…" I said quietly. A couple years back, when we were in basic training, we both discovered that each of us had feelings for Roy. We didn't want it to ruin the friendship we had so we decided that whoever ended up with Roy would be her decision, and her decision alone.

Rian sat on the step of the porch and looked down to the floor. "I really fucked up, didn't I…? I had her… And I let her slip away…" He whispered. "…I was just scared… Everything was moving too fast… And the baby… What if we couldn't have kids again…?" The last part made my heart ache.

I took out a pack of cigarettes out of my pant pocket and lit a cigarette. "Well…" I said through my cigarette. "We decided… Roy would choose and she did…" I blew some smoke.

"Can I at least talk to her?"

I shook my head, "If it were any other day, then maybe. I'm afraid Roy wouldn't be emotionally stable to see you. Especially right now."

"Is she okay?" He looked up at me full of concern and worry.

I let out another puff of smoke. "I'm going to be open about this… Roy and I were aiming for a baby. But we learned today that the chances of Roy having a child aren't likely. She cried herself to sleep a while ago..." Rian's eyes widened in surprise, then his face quickly changed into an angry expression.

He stood up, "Where do you go off putting her through that? Didn't you think that something like that would happened…?"

I glared at him, "She wanted a baby. I wanted a baby. Put the pieces together, Hawkeye. I did it because I love her and I want a family with her." The urge of punching him was slowly returning.

"Just remember that she loved me first… You're nothing but second best… That'll all you'll ever be…" He spat.

_Fucker knows what to say to tick me off, _I thought as I pulled him by the shirt. "I may have been second best, but at least I'm with her now. Don't come here acting like you care about her. Anyone that did woul-"

"Rian…?" I let go when I heard a small whisper. _Shit._

**Roy's POV**

I was awoken by people arguing outside my door. It was early evening and I hadn't realized I had slept through the whole afternoon.

""_Where do you go off putting her through that? Didn't you think that something like that would happened…?"_ My heart stopped. That voice, the voice I so longed to hear. I sat up on the couch and hesitated. _It can't be him._

"_She wanted a baby. I wanted a baby. Put the pieces together, Hawkeye. I did it because I love her and I want a family with her."_ My eyes widened when I heard Jean say his name.

I got up and opened the door. "Just remember that she loved me first… You're nothing but second best… That'll all you'll ever be…" I felt my stomach tie in a knot as i saw Rian. Jean had him by the shirt. "I may have been second best, but at least I'm with her now. Don't come here acting like you care about her. Anyone that did woul-"

"Rian…?" I cut Jean as he spoke. Jean let go of Rian and they both turned to look at me. I've must have looked how I felt, like crap. They both looked worried, "Are you feeling okay, Roy?" Jean asked as he walked towards me. I nodded a little, not able to speak. All I could do was stare at Rian. Jean placed his hand on my forehead and I shivered from the contact. "You're burning up…" he mumbled through his cigarette.

"I'm fine…" I whispered. Honestly, I didn't feel fine. Everything was spinning. I closed my eyes and my legs gave out little. Jean caught me. "No you're not…. We should get her inside." Rian said quietly.

**Rian's POV**

I helped Jean take Roy inside. Her pale skin was even paler. Jean laid her on the couch and placed a blanket over her. I couldn't help but feel jealous. _I should be taking care of her, i should've never left._ I was heartbroken, I came back to late.


End file.
